tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8623255227619374869.post4776551723268093326..comments2024-03-19T08:48:37.047+00:00Comments on Prison UK: An Insider's View: How to… Cook in a Prison CellPrisonUKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05060870139110580938noreply@blogger.comBlogger25125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8623255227619374869.post-784147565687086782016-09-24T23:36:44.968+01:002016-09-24T23:36:44.968+01:00I was in prison for three years ,, when i was sent...I was in prison for three years ,, when i was sent to a c cat from hmp wandsworth we could order, shoulder of lamb pork chops steak snapper fish bacon whole chicken &sauseges &eggs fresh veg etc <br />I used to order bacon & eggs so at bangup i would boil some eggs and bacon. In the kettle so i had ham & eggs ,, it stunk out the cell & made alot of prisoners hungry ..<br />I also made summer puddings in the cell from bread & jams .<br />I used to keep the clingfilm from the sandwiches given to us everyday at lunchtime and chop half frozen pork chops whith a plastic knife then add garkic onins curry powder salt n pepper & a bit of malt viniger then balontine the forcemeat in the clingfilm then the next day as im banged up until then i poach them off in the wing kitchen then enjoy a skinless chorizo sausage once ready Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16501534191428883534noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8623255227619374869.post-47653571397760247102016-09-24T23:35:45.158+01:002016-09-24T23:35:45.158+01:00I was in prison for three years ,, when i was sent...I was in prison for three years ,, when i was sent to a c cat from hmp wandsworth we could order, shoulder of lamb pork chops steak snapper fish bacon whole chicken &sauseges &eggs fresh veg etc <br />I used to order bacon & eggs so at bangup i would boil some eggs and bacon. In the kettle so i had ham & eggs ,, it stunk out the cell & made alot of prisoners hungry ..<br />I also made summer puddings in the cell from bread & jams .<br />I used to keep the clingfilm from the sandwiches given to us everyday at lunchtime and chop half frozen pork chops whith a plastic knife then add garkic onins curry powder salt n pepper & a bit of malt viniger then balontine the forcemeat in the clingfilm then the next day as im banged up until then i poach them off in the wing kitchen then enjoy a skinless chorizo sausage once ready Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16501534191428883534noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8623255227619374869.post-42753264033808830292015-01-23T11:40:26.564+00:002015-01-23T11:40:26.564+00:00Thanks for your observations. I think the answer i...Thanks for your observations. I think the answer is very simple: money. Some people - usually politicians - will be prepared to abandon any sense of morality and human decency to fill their boots. And they call people in prison criminals! Ha...PrisonUKhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05060870139110580938noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8623255227619374869.post-20990121881631243652015-01-23T11:38:32.395+00:002015-01-23T11:38:32.395+00:00Thanks for both comments! No, although a few priso...Thanks for both comments! No, although a few prisons (mainly high security) do allow access to small wing kitchens, most cons have to make do with a small travel kettle. In Cat-Ds you don't even get a kettle and have to trudge down the unit to a wall-mounted hot water boiler.<br /><br />My Cat-D did have a communal dining hall - built for around 200 cons, now serving well over 400 in four separate shifts, but that's the only prison I've been in that has one. There we did get a cooked breakfast (including porridge), but everywhere else it was just a tiny bag of cereal and a 0.33 ltr carton of semi-skimmed milk.<br /><br />In all the closed nicks we ate in our cells, often sitting on the closed WC lid as the space was much too small for two chairs. At one inner city Cat-B they did start putting fixed tables with hard seats (a bit like picnic tables) out on the ground floor so we could eat together, but screws didn't like it as they wanted us banged up in our cells quickly after lunch, so the tables vanished overnight!<br /><br />I have posted on subject of Things I Missed in Prison: <br />http://prisonuk.blogspot.co.uk/2014/08/things-i-missed-while-i-was-in-prison.html. <br />Probably the main thing was just being treated as an adult human being!<br /><br />Re: jobs and interviews. I do agree with the reply above. If your face fits (or you have a mate already working in a particular job) then it's much easier to get work. There's such a shortage of vacancies in our overcrowded jails that many prisoners plead for jobs. Of course, you can submit a written application ("general app") for a job, but there's no guarantee of getting it unless you can get a screw or a governor to pull a few strings - which happens all the time, again if the face fits!<br /><br />Proper applications with interviews would be the obvious thing to organise, especially - as the reply above points out - it would be great practice for applying for work on release. However, given the shortage of staff on most wings, I think this sensible reform isn't likely anytime soon!PrisonUKhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05060870139110580938noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8623255227619374869.post-67597834585520392812015-01-23T11:23:09.628+00:002015-01-23T11:23:09.628+00:00Sorry, I did post an update on another post commen...Sorry, I did post an update on another post comments that I was notified yesterday that the C4 News prisons feature is now scheduled for Monday evening at 7pm (allegedly...) PrisonUKhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05060870139110580938noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8623255227619374869.post-78159846797254660862015-01-23T10:27:58.378+00:002015-01-23T10:27:58.378+00:00Interviews??? Oh lord no. You get the job if your...Interviews??? Oh lord no. You get the job if your wing officer recommends you or in the case of some jobs a panel decides that you are worthy enough to have the job. It would make a lot of sense to make prisoners interview for the jobs as it would give them valuable interview skills and practice but apparently that is too much like hard work and far too sensible for HMPS to ever put in place.<br /><br />Open prisons such as East Sutton Park tend to have dining halls and I know HMP Send does. Everywhere else in the estate makes you eat in the open toilet that is your cell.<br /><br />I think the thing that virtually everyone imprisoned misses is the complete lack of autonomy. You are told what to wear, where to work, what time to get up and go to bed. Your every move is controlled. You are treated as if you are a stupid child incapable of making any decision for yourself apart from which selection from the 5 unappetising choices of meals being offered that day. Yet the moment you are released from prison HMPS/probation/society assumes that you are now a fully functioning adult capable of behaving responsibly at all times. A bloody stupid assumption when you consider that a lot of people in prison have poor skills in every aspect of their lives which is why they ended up in prison in the first place. Add in years of being treated as a stupid child and not allowed to make any decisions regarding their lives at all and no training or opportunity to practice being responsible and its hardly surprising that the reoffending rate is so high.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8623255227619374869.post-37423819032003736422015-01-23T10:20:21.725+00:002015-01-23T10:20:21.725+00:00And again the segment was not broadcast. Channel ...And again the segment was not broadcast. Channel 4 clearly don't view people dying in inhumane conditions in this country as anything worth reporting onAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8623255227619374869.post-70770982579187657012015-01-23T09:52:15.320+00:002015-01-23T09:52:15.320+00:00Alex, great article as always! i always wondered w...Alex, great article as always! i always wondered where cons cooked when they spoke about making a cake or cooking porridge, i actually thought they had little stoves in their cell! <br />my next comment comes from watching too much american shows because i always thought that food was served in the food hall/canteen. i also thought that prisoners had a chance to go for breakfast, lunch and dinner where they had a choice of porridge or maybe a simple breakfast and for lunch and dinner a hot meal, not a Michelin star one but maybe like a school dinner type meal.<br /><br />when you were inside the nick, what did you crave for the most? not necessarily food but maybe somethings that we take for granted i.e. our comfy beds, showers (where you mentioned in another post that they go off every now and then and you have to restart), a restaurant meal, a steak?<br />reading your blog has made me appreciate the freedom i currently have on the outside because it is the little things that get taken away but will appreciate once they are gone.<br /><br />last question, when applying for a job inside the prison do they have interviews...?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8623255227619374869.post-54934226040193135192015-01-22T13:24:40.234+00:002015-01-22T13:24:40.234+00:00Latest update is that the C4 News prisons feature ...Latest update is that the C4 News prisons feature will be broadcast on Friday 23 January (tomorrow!) during the 7.00 pm programme. Watch this space to see if there are any further developments!PrisonUKhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05060870139110580938noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8623255227619374869.post-89588941314111065962015-01-21T23:16:49.725+00:002015-01-21T23:16:49.725+00:00Thanks for the suggestion! I've heard so many ...Thanks for the suggestion! I've heard so many similar stories and have been a 'McKenzie Friend' for plenty of cons who have been nicked for daft reasons. We won almost all these hearings, often because the screw failed to get his paperwork sorted out or because the relevant PSI rules hadn't been followed.<br /><br />It is a good subject and although I have posted on the subject of adjudications, I think readers might be interested in the way in which the internal discipline system actually functions in practice (as opposed to the way it is supposed to work!)PrisonUKhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05060870139110580938noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8623255227619374869.post-73775348787864974432015-01-21T19:51:36.052+00:002015-01-21T19:51:36.052+00:00Great post, another blog idea, what you can get ni...Great post, another blog idea, what you can get nicked for inside without realising you have broken a prison rule...example for me was i was promised i could move wings with my pad mate by a gov. A screw came in next day and told me i was moving, i said is 't' coming too? He said no just you. I said but the gov said we were moving together. He said are you coming or not?.i said no. He shut the door, and within ten minutes a sheet was posted under the door saying i disobeyed a direct order and had a date for my adjudication! Cheers mate! It was my 3rd day inside as a first timer!!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8623255227619374869.post-83318321113574306032015-01-21T15:45:15.645+00:002015-01-21T15:45:15.645+00:00yeah i figure you know of all of this already but ...yeah i figure you know of all of this already but i figure it's worth reiterating. i don't think we understand the implications very often, and at the moment, the implications i understand just depress me. <br /><br />i don't understand why anyone would support the saudis or any regime meting out cruelty like that. but then so many things seem to be wrong. have all these people got no conscience? i don't get it? is it really just a macho world?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8623255227619374869.post-51028154307388635542015-01-20T23:43:13.061+00:002015-01-20T23:43:13.061+00:00Thanks for the comments and the link, Martina. Fun...Thanks for the comments and the link, Martina. Funnily enough, I'd spotted the Saudi reference when I read the annual report and tweeted the following on 17 January: "Nice to see Chris Grayling hanging around with the Saudi tyrants. Maybe to get some advice on flogging bloggers who annoy him??"<br /><br />Even more ironic is that fact that the British Embassy in Saudi Arabia actually flagged all this up on 11 September 2014 and the world seems to have missed it - even though there was a jolly photo of Mr Grayling signing the agreement in person with his Saudi counterpart. Horrific.PrisonUKhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05060870139110580938noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8623255227619374869.post-57854374493044703932015-01-20T23:28:43.060+00:002015-01-20T23:28:43.060+00:00Thanks for your question. The weekly menu sheet ai...Thanks for your question. The weekly menu sheet aims to cover all likely requirements including religious diets, vegetarians, low fat, no dairy etc, so there are normally five options per meal. The only variation at lunch is usually the filling in the sandwich or bread roll, although sometimes soup is offered too.PrisonUKhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05060870139110580938noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8623255227619374869.post-70516753887065390132015-01-20T23:25:41.099+00:002015-01-20T23:25:41.099+00:00Best of luck with the sentence! These days Enhance...Best of luck with the sentence! These days Enhanced level will take at least three and a half months to attain, possibly longer if the paperwork is delayed. All new receptions go onto Entry level for 14 days, followed by Standard for a minimum of three months. In some nicks you are also required to have work or an education place to qualify for Enhanced.PrisonUKhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05060870139110580938noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8623255227619374869.post-40065501340557677982015-01-20T20:32:11.957+00:002015-01-20T20:32:11.957+00:00Why don't Prisons offer one option at mealtime...Why don't Prisons offer one option at mealtimes? Monday - Lasagne, Tuesday - liver caserole, Wednesday - roast chicken, Thursday - pizza, Friday - fish n chips...Curry is another option tooAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8623255227619374869.post-34752044906406877432015-01-20T20:20:25.709+00:002015-01-20T20:20:25.709+00:00I suppose that is one way to get people to watch C...I suppose that is one way to get people to watch Channel 4 news: keep postponing stories of interest so people have to keep tuning in night after night on the offchance that it will be broadcast.<br /><br />It will be interesting to see if they actually do broadcast the piece or whether it will be consigned to the dustbinAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8623255227619374869.post-35435749735988279342015-01-20T20:15:16.996+00:002015-01-20T20:15:16.996+00:00Im hoping to get enhanced asap when i go in this y...Im hoping to get enhanced asap when i go in this year! 25 quid a week, should keep me fairly satisfied I think! I wonder what I can 'plug' before court? A bottle of ketchup? LolAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8623255227619374869.post-55275303760772754392015-01-20T20:03:19.542+00:002015-01-20T20:03:19.542+00:00I'm now reliably informed that the news packag...I'm now reliably informed that the news package On the prison crisis will go out either tomorrow (Wednesday) or Thursday on the C4 News at 7pm... Or at least that's what the producer told me earlier today!PrisonUKhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05060870139110580938noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8623255227619374869.post-57212386255827996682015-01-20T19:55:53.861+00:002015-01-20T19:55:53.861+00:00Alex,
It appears that once again Channel 4 bumped...Alex,<br /><br />It appears that once again Channel 4 bumped you. Apparently they concur with Grayling's position that there is no crisis in the UK prison system because they chose to report on whether women getting their kit off in a national newspaper or some dire art house film discussing artificial intelligence rather than a real human interest story of 85,000 people being locked up in appalling inhumane conditions by the UK government. Have to say I really was not impressed by this choice.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8623255227619374869.post-7529289603335148192015-01-20T19:35:24.507+00:002015-01-20T19:35:24.507+00:00hey,
was just reading this: http://www.theguardia...hey,<br /><br />was just reading this: http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/jan/19/torturers-oppressors-executioners-buy-british-saudi-arabia-kyrgyzstan<br /><br />"Last year, the Ministry of Justice, under Chris Grayling, established a trading body to sell the expertise and intellectual assets of the National Offender Management Service (Noms) to overseas clients. One of its first initiatives was to bid for a £5.9m contract that would help improve the efficiency of the Saudi prison service. In September, Grayling visited the kingdom in person to sign a memorandum of understanding to enshrine cooperation between the two countries in the operation of their judicial systems.<br /><br />Saudi Arabia is not the only potential beneficiary of Grayling’s entrepreneurial spirit. Just Solutions International is also negotiating a contract with Oman. This absolute monarchy was another country that experienced protests for democratic reform during the so-called Arab spring. The regime responded by imprisoning dozens of alleged organisers. The Gulf Centre for Human Rights has said of Oman: “Torture has become the state’s knee-jerk response to political expression.”<br /><br />A couple of weeks after Grayling visited Saudi, his junior minister Lord Faulks made similar visits to Kazakhstan and Kyrgyzstan, again promoting a business relationship over justice. It would appear that our government has identified a lucrative line in selling our skills at locking people up to any country that might be more flush in fossil fuels than human rights."<br /><br />essentially grayling seems to be lending out his lack of expertise to other countries now??!!<br /><br />~martina<br /><br />ps. loved the 'kempinski pudding'. i kinda like the idea that you came up with these things with only a kettle for help. god, prison food sounds dire. but then i guess you don't go there for the food. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8623255227619374869.post-24270055436173578872015-01-20T17:20:47.873+00:002015-01-20T17:20:47.873+00:00Thanks for your contribution. All very true about ...Thanks for your contribution. All very true about kettles and electricity, of course! I'm not sure how much you can really buy for the £2 'bang-up' pay if you can't get work or on an education course. I don't recall if that will even buy any burn these days, being a non-smoker myself!<br /><br />I could write a whole post about the cell bells... perhaps I'll put it on my list for the future. PrisonUKhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05060870139110580938noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8623255227619374869.post-17894585645919357372015-01-20T17:05:22.036+00:002015-01-20T17:05:22.036+00:00All prisoners (unless fresh in or on basic for ref...All prisoners (unless fresh in or on basic for refusing to follow the basic rules) will have a certain amount of 'spends', although most spend it on burn rather than food or fruit (for hooch production). <br /><br />On average out of 90 cells I think 2 or 3 per day/night lose electricity because kettle cooking has blown up the kettle; this then leads to cell bells being pushed because the telly is dead, just another example of how not to use an 'emergency' button. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8623255227619374869.post-52096278738151364612015-01-20T16:44:02.955+00:002015-01-20T16:44:02.955+00:00Thanks for your contribution. The ban on in-cell k...Thanks for your contribution. The ban on in-cell kettles in prisons for women is something I really didn't know about. We had them in all the prisons I was at except for the Cat-D where we still had wing boilers in the washroom. However, we also had keys to our rooms and 24-hour access, as well as being permitted to have 1 litre hot water flasks. The only time I didn't have a kettle in a closed nick was when I was down the Block and then we had plastic flasks.<br /><br />I never had any access to a toaster or a microwave oven, although I can imagine the likely outcome if we had! The washroom sinks were usually an absolute disgrace...PrisonUKhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05060870139110580938noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8623255227619374869.post-27290911892539815222015-01-20T16:35:45.910+00:002015-01-20T16:35:45.910+00:00Women's prisons generally don't give you k...Women's prisons generally don't give you kettles (Holloway was the only one who did) basically because they became a safety hazard with people cooking things in them they were never designed to accommodate so we had flasks and hot water taps on each landing. Unfortunately we never got to practice the delights detailed above. On the enhanced landing at Dopwnview we did have access to microwaves though this became an issue when a) people failed to clean up after themselves and b) instead of reheating food people who weren't used to microwaves tried to use them as ovens and would set the timer for 30 minutes (or more) which resulted in more than a few power outages when the microwave contents blew up from being nuked for so long. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com