tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8623255227619374869.post5886049176278550275..comments2024-03-19T08:48:37.047+00:00Comments on Prison UK: An Insider's View: Prison Penpals: Who Writes and Why?PrisonUKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05060870139110580938noreply@blogger.comBlogger40125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8623255227619374869.post-18698218523152549852016-06-05T19:27:26.324+01:002016-06-05T19:27:26.324+01:00I've just turned 19 and I'm really interes...I've just turned 19 and I'm really interested in writing to inmates both for me to learn about them and for them to have someone to write to. What kind of websites would be best for me to try? I live in the UK. Thanks.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8623255227619374869.post-75330552857562714062016-04-22T16:40:37.309+01:002016-04-22T16:40:37.309+01:00Oh and i had ended up hundreds of pounds lost into...Oh and i had ended up hundreds of pounds lost into bank accounts so i guess thats fraud and conning me toAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8623255227619374869.post-65127170880917513392016-04-22T16:37:41.351+01:002016-04-22T16:37:41.351+01:00i am considering going to the police, I was with s...i am considering going to the police, I was with someone and they went to prison, we split up for a short time as I had found out a few things about him after he was sent down, i was in a very vunerable condition at the time, a few months later he got back in touch and i went to see him, we satrted to write to each other and i would go and see him every two weeks then he started to say he was in trouble and needed money and could I pay it into a bank account so i did to help him, he seemed to have changed and the letters were so lovely and he said he would make everything wonderful when he got out, after 2 years he got out and will not have anything to do with me, i saw him on facebook as we had friends in common so i messaged him he ignored my messages started to add drug dealers to his friends list and his probation home is in the next street, hes told his probation officer i am a psychopath and theyve told him to have nothing to do with me, I was vunerable because my daughter had died, he was allowed out for her funeral and used my vulnerability as a weapon to get money from me. He used her funeral as a way of seeing his family (who werent invited to her funeral and just turned up) I am left still grieving my daughters lose and now i am so upset that i was conned.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8623255227619374869.post-8408010300849773992016-04-22T16:19:25.402+01:002016-04-22T16:19:25.402+01:00nownowAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8623255227619374869.post-84623999432614902452016-03-14T21:02:29.409+00:002016-03-14T21:02:29.409+00:00I briefly lived at university with a gentleman who...I briefly lived at university with a gentleman who was apparently engaged in a lengthy correspondence with a chap called Varg Vikernes who was then in a Norwegian prison for a notorious series of arson attacks on churches and the stabbing of the guitarist from a rival metal band... it only came up twice in conversation almost apropos of nothing (I know a lot of strange people), but my friend was deeply fascinated with philosophy and said that while this man had some pretty vile racist ideas, he was very interesting to talk to.Gideon Xhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02726167799706318937noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8623255227619374869.post-44499635399145861252016-02-09T08:52:16.966+00:002016-02-09T08:52:16.966+00:00Hi Alex.
I'm a journalist for national newspap...Hi Alex.<br />I'm a journalist for national newspapers.<br />I'm looking to get in touch with some prison penpals, to show the good side of it and how it can help rehabilitate prisoner and how it can be a good experience for the penpal too. <br />Do you know of anyone who writes to prisoners/prisoners who have penpals? Or where would be a good place to start? <br />You can contact me on 07771693675 or email me hannahcrocker@catersnews.com. <br />Hope to hear from you soon. <br />Many thanks,<br />HannahASThttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08305814187874608341noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8623255227619374869.post-2645372997607798302015-11-08T16:20:44.804+00:002015-11-08T16:20:44.804+00:00Thanks for your contribution to the discussion. I ...Thanks for your contribution to the discussion. I think that being a pen pal (even to a notorious inmate) can be a fascinating experience. I learned a lot myself from writing to a double murderer on Florida's death row, a correspondence that continued for some years until he was executed.<br /><br />I also believe that as long as the pen pal on the outside is aware of the potential pitfalls - especially the financial ones - and feels in control of the situation, then the risks are really pretty small! Enjoy the experience, because there are many interesting people behind bars.PrisonUKhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05060870139110580938noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8623255227619374869.post-54066054238328652172015-11-08T16:15:55.970+00:002015-11-08T16:15:55.970+00:00Thanks very much for your very helpful and insight...Thanks very much for your very helpful and insightful comments. It is very good to hear from someone who is having a positive experience, both as the wife of a prisoner and as a pen pal. <br /><br />In terms of relationships, I do think that having previous pre-prison 'history' can make a big difference. I used to write to an old friend whom I'd known for years before he was jailed for embezzlement from his employers. When he was sent down, it was very normal to write to him in prison.<br /><br />I'm also sure that for every prison pen pal 'horror' story, there are many others that we don't get to hear about because the relationship between the correspondents is going perfectly normally! That's why I'm delighted to read your own story. Thanks.PrisonUKhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05060870139110580938noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8623255227619374869.post-26775025179245759622015-11-08T16:09:38.256+00:002015-11-08T16:09:38.256+00:00Thanks for your contribution. Sorry it's taken...Thanks for your contribution. Sorry it's taken so long for me to reply. I must have missed this one as the post itself was over a year ago. <br /><br />Getting into a prison pen pal relationship is always a bit of a gamble, but it can be very rewarding if it works out. Of course, prisoners (and pen pals') motives do vary. Some inmates are very lonely (especially those with no family or friends who are still in contact). Financial support can also play a major role too, I'm afraid.<br /><br />You current correspondent may well be telling the truth about the stamps. Under the new rules (PSI 30/2013) stamps aren't permitted to be sent in. They could be in his stored property box until either his release or, maybe, when he is transferred to another prison. It's a bit of potluck really whether they will be handed to him in the future. It really does depend on the specific prison policy and the individual censor office on duty on the day!PrisonUKhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05060870139110580938noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8623255227619374869.post-15959910710213027722015-10-31T00:25:40.856+00:002015-10-31T00:25:40.856+00:00Your article was really insightful. I learned alot...Your article was really insightful. I learned alot as I identify with the plump of women who are probably now experiencing a 'frisson' of excitement of writing letters with an now infamous convict currently in NY.I like my penpal as a person, but after reading your article, I do identify with some of the things you have said about having several 'stable' female penpals. I will be cautious though about giving out my $ so quickly. As you said the woman is in 'control' and lastly I do like the fact that I know where he is on a Saturday night, in his cell reading and writing a letter to me :) Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8623255227619374869.post-85513289029959781772015-10-18T13:34:20.576+01:002015-10-18T13:34:20.576+01:00I haven't read through all of the comments or ...I haven't read through all of the comments or your replies Alex, but I just wanted to give a penpal's version if I may.<br /><br />I've written to inmates in the UK, US, Canada and Australia on and off for neary 30 years - since I was 18. I've had friends go to prison, so the notion of supporting someone through it wasn't as alien to me as it is for many - and as such I like to think I haven't fallen into some of the holes others get themselves in to. I've never been "groomed", never been scammed, never been taken advantage of in any way. I've had a wide range of penpals in prison, all ages 18 - 75, both genders, some for a brief time and some for years - currently I've been writing to my two pals for 6 and 9 years. I like learning about other people, that's mainly why I do it. I don't send money, or gifts and don't visit. It's just letters between us and they understand that.<br /><br />I'm also married to an inmate. I knew him briefly before his crime, decided to stick with him initially as support, but after a couple of years we got married. He's in the US so things are not as straight forward as they would be if he were here in the UK.<br /><br />You hear a lot of the negative stories online about how people fall for their inmate penpals and then get hurt emotionally, physically (not so often) or financially. You don't hear many "normal" stories, and that's why I wanted to comment. I feel normal in writing to my penpals, and see nothing abnormal about Hubby & me besides the physical distance. I have a full-time responsible job, good education, perfectly healthy self-esteme and no commitment issues, and I have no kids going without just to fund international phone calls or visits - Hubby and I don't get any phone calls because of his state's rules on them. But there seems to be no way to make it sound anything other than sad or pathetic in most people's eyes, thanks largely to the "documentaries" over the years. I could spend my spare time volunteering at an animal sanctuary or knitting hats for smoothie bottles, but I choose to spend some of it writing to inmates.<br /><br />I wont say any more as it will sound like I'm trying to justify my situation, and that's not my intention. I'm happy with what I do, and my penpals and husband are also happy that I do it. That's all that matters really.sunray's wenchhttp://lookingforthecabinbythelake.blogspot.co.uk/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8623255227619374869.post-64847722756104586592015-09-08T00:05:01.897+01:002015-09-08T00:05:01.897+01:00There's the Bent Bars Project/agency as well t...There's the Bent Bars Project/agency as well that you have listed in your resources who put me in touch with the guy that I currently write to. He's asked for nothing more than a few print-off of pictures of Jesus and stuff because he's taken up some sort of Bible studies inside. Prior to him, many years ago I also wrote to a guy in the USA who was inside. It didn't take long to realise that all he really wanted was for me to send him money orders. I sent him one, but after the next 3 or 4 letters from him asking for another, he stopped writing and that was the end of that. This guy that I write to now (in Nottingham) I posted him some stamps (because I have got tons of them), cellotaped to the letter as the prison advised me to and he said that he didn't receive that particular page. Because I don't know him personally I have to wonder if he's being honest with me or trying to milk me? I think that it will become apparent in time. Jusshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05339461688722124056noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8623255227619374869.post-44910057280738656322015-03-12T20:50:01.082+00:002015-03-12T20:50:01.082+00:00Thanks for your question. I think that for some pr...Thanks for your question. I think that for some prisoners having a regular correspondent can make a massive difference to their lives, so it can be a very positive thing to do. However, as I warn above, there can be problems and pitfalls!<br /><br />It is much more difficult to get prison pen pals in the UK because it is less developed here than it is in the USA where there are dedicated websites and support groups. However, I am aware of one UK group called Bridging the Gap: http://www.btguk.org. That might be a good place to start. Best of luck!PrisonUKhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05060870139110580938noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8623255227619374869.post-86532355629263517162015-03-10T22:48:26.950+00:002015-03-10T22:48:26.950+00:00I enjoy letter writing so what is the best way of ...I enjoy letter writing so what is the best way of finding out who to write to? Thanks.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8623255227619374869.post-76675966945127348022015-03-04T13:17:44.207+00:002015-03-04T13:17:44.207+00:00Interesting question. I think that people write to...Interesting question. I think that people write to notorious prisoners for a wide range of reasons. Some may hope to get a personal insight into whether the person to whom they are writing really is the 'monster' that the media portray them to be and corresponding might be a way of finding out more. This sort of thing fascinates criminologists as well.<br /><br />Other people who write perhaps get a thrill out of being a penpal with someone who is extremely notorious or who is perceived to be extremly wicked. Look at the number of people - mainly women - who write regularly to prisoners such as Charlie Manson. Infamous cons are, after all, still 'celebrities' in their own way. Mind you, as Friedrich Nietzsche once observed: “Beware that, when fighting monsters, you yourself do not become a monster... for when you gaze long into the abyss. The abyss gazes also into you.”<br /><br />At the same time, however, it's worth remembering that plenty of notorious cons do get regular sackfuls of 'fan' mail or requests to be penpals, so I honestly wouldn't hold my breath while waiting for any reply!PrisonUKhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05060870139110580938noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8623255227619374869.post-53073049737022271012015-03-04T00:16:46.527+00:002015-03-04T00:16:46.527+00:00I have taken your advice on board, but I kind of f...I have taken your advice on board, but I kind of feel strange. I've had a fascination with female criminals for quite some time, but is it a little too macabre to want to talk with a serial killer like Rosemary West? karlembertonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14301551157464340152noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8623255227619374869.post-85854834185852339352015-03-03T11:21:45.815+00:002015-03-03T11:21:45.815+00:00Thanks for your question. In my experience as long...Thanks for your question. In my experience as long as you know the prisoner's current name (that is, they've not changed it while inside - which does happen in some notorious cases) and the address of the prison where they are presently being held, then the letter should get delivered. If the individual is in the high security estate (Cat-A), then all letters will probably be subject to security checks. Other than that, the worst that can happen will be the letter coming back with 'return to sender' stamped on the envelope. <br /><br />Do make sure that you include your own name and address at the head of the letter and most people also write their name and address on the back of the envelope. Hope that advice helps!PrisonUKhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05060870139110580938noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8623255227619374869.post-28834583162208353242015-03-03T02:10:32.433+00:002015-03-03T02:10:32.433+00:00Hello. I considered writing to a considerable pris...Hello. I considered writing to a considerable prisoner in the UK, put it his way - a woman and one who is serving a whole life tariff (you can work it out just from that). Just curiosity really. Only thing is, I don't have access to the persons prisoner number, so could I still write?karlembertonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14301551157464340152noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8623255227619374869.post-27085738018496461732015-02-28T10:55:27.907+00:002015-02-28T10:55:27.907+00:00Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this. I can co...Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this. I can confirm that just getting a letter from 'outside' can make an enormous difference to some prisoners' lives. I have shared a cell with a Polish guy and he never received a single letter from family or friends in the months we were living in the same pad. In contrast, I used to receive a fair amount of post, so the difference was very noticeable.I suppose it makes those inmates who never get mail feel much more forgotten and isolated. <br /><br />When I was transferred to another prison I started writing to him (in English) and this encouraged him to really make an effort in education classes to improve his English language skills so he could write back. A year or so down the road and his letters were written in pretty decent English! That's just one example of how having someone to write to you in prison can change lives, so if you feel ready to write to someone, then I'd definitely give it a go.PrisonUKhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05060870139110580938noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8623255227619374869.post-81240852717390876642015-02-25T16:37:59.084+00:002015-02-25T16:37:59.084+00:00I've considered writing to a prisoner a few ti...I've considered writing to a prisoner a few times. I can see it being a huge lifeline to someone in such terrible circumstances. We all make mistakes, that's part of life. I've seen a few websites that offer a "go between" service where they take your letters, process them and vice versa so I might give that a go.Colin Dimmickhttp://www.5ssreading.co.uknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8623255227619374869.post-28055550598554444242015-01-18T11:49:17.645+00:002015-01-18T11:49:17.645+00:00Thanks for sharing your experiences. As I'm su...Thanks for sharing your experiences. As I'm sure you've seen from my previous posts on this blog, I'm keen to provide an insight into prisons and jail life for people on the outside. One of my main aims has been to challenge some of the common stereotypes and prejudices against anyone who has served time inside - whether or not they are guilty as charged or a victim of a miscarriage of justice.<br /><br />I know that this will sound corny, but some of my best mates in prison have been involved in the drugs trade, including a fair few well-educated lads who gave in to the temptation of 'easy money'. In the same way that young blokes can do stupid things when they are immature and reckless but then grow out of it, I do believe that some drug suppliers and dealers can make a genuine commitment to going straight and finding legal employment. I know a couple myself!<br /><br />Obviously, I can't comment on your friend's personal circumstances because I don't know him or his background beyond what you've shared. I think it will be important to remember that he will be on licence for the second half of his sentence - with the constant risk of recall for any licence breaches, so this will inevitably impact on his life (and yours, if you do develop a relationship with him). It's also worth bearing in mind that licence can be a very stressful experience for the ex-prisoner and those close to him (or her). It's a return to 'normal' life - but not as most of us know it!<br /><br />I suppose that it is a good start that he hasn't been expecting money or other financial assistance from you while he's been inside, so that could mean he is genuine about making a fresh start when he is released. Of course, where he lives and what he does while on licence will be subject to approval by his supervising probation officer, as will the home area to which he'll be released. <br /><br />If you live in the same area, then this makes things easier, but one of the standard licence conditions is to inform your probation officer of any new or developing relationships, so if you do take things any further it will mean that you do enter into his world in a more formal way. You might be required to meet his probation officer in person, agree to home visits etc. He could also be subject to police surveillance if they suspect he's not cut all ties with his past criminal activities and associates. I raise these issues not to discourage you, but so you do have all the relevant information you deserve to have when making these important, potentially life-changing decisions.<br /><br />You ask about helping him keep clear of crime when he has been released. It is well-attested that having a stable relationship (whether partner or family) can be a major factor in rehabilitation and reducing the risk of reoffending by ex-prisoners. The more you have to lose outside, the less you want to risk it all by going back in jail!<br /><br />In my own view, the best way to help an ex-prisoner stay away from crime is through finding employment and stable accommodation. Being an ex-con on licence, especially if not returning to a family home, can be a very lonely, isolated and impoverished existence. Finding a job can be a massive barrier to overcome for anyone with a criminal record, although maybe he could start with some voluntary work. These are important considerations for anyone who is considering starting a relationship with someone who is about to be released. <br /><br />Has your friend discussed his employment and accommodation plans with you yet? I think these are vitally important issues, because they could have a significant impact on your own future should this friendship develop into a relationship. <br /><br />I hope things do work out well for both of you. Just make sure that you are going forward with your eyes wide open. Feel free to ask any follow up questions and if I can advise, I will. PrisonUKhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05060870139110580938noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8623255227619374869.post-18334564015207118162015-01-18T10:59:02.432+00:002015-01-18T10:59:02.432+00:00Thanks for such a great article Alex, I have becom...Thanks for such a great article Alex, I have become hooked on your blog and am still reading through the posts. <br />What prompted me to comment on this particular post is because I have been talking to a con for about 2 months now. We met in a prison function that he was working at (trying not to divulge too much info!) and got on well, when I was leaving he asked me to leave my number for verification purposes and very naively I did, not thinking that the prison already had my details if they needed to contact me. <br />Later that day I received a phone call from him and he was very nice, very funny, charming, all of that. We had a great conversation and have been speaking everyday since. I have been to visit him once again and am planning on another visit. He is due to be released in a couple of months and I have grown quite fond of him. <br />He has never asked me for money or any "favours" and often expresses how much he likes me. I understand the capacity that he is in and also like you mentioned boredom while in the nick might be encouraging such constant communication between us. <br />He's been living a life of crime since his teen years and now says he's ready to change. I would love to see him change but am very weary considering that this life has been such a large part of him. He also talks about our relationship like it is official and says he wants to carry it on when he gets out. Often times when we are speaking i forget that hes in prison and it feels normal, like a long distance relationship, while this is all nice to hear I am aware that he might be talking to other women and I have said this to him and he denies it of course and I also know that he might have a girlfriend waiting for him. <br />I would like for this time to be the last time he is in the nick, is there anything I can do to help him stay with this mind state that he is in when he gets out because I know there is a lot of temptation on the outside and it's easy to get back into that world? <br />Also, as much as I like him because I think he's a fantastic person with the loveliest personality I know that once he gets out that might be it for our so called relationship and I have said this to him and mentioned that if nothing romantic comes of us I would like us to stay great friends because we get on so well which he objected to again because he is very adamant that he wants a relationship. <br />I am very glad that I met him and visited the prison that day because it erased the stereotype view that I had of cons. Speaking to him has also showed me that even the drug dealers are good people, I know it sounds silly but the way prisons and cons are potrayed is to induce fear into us and it really shouldn't be that way. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8623255227619374869.post-83310964439545084222014-11-30T17:35:14.825+00:002014-11-30T17:35:14.825+00:00thanks for give good information
i learned from it...thanks for give good information<br />i learned from it<br /><a href="http://www.pals24.com" rel="nofollow">pals24.com</a>pals24https://www.blogger.com/profile/05469300774188353728noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8623255227619374869.post-73807958586187023032014-09-25T22:53:16.531+01:002014-09-25T22:53:16.531+01:00I'm afraid manipulation can be a problem with ...I'm afraid manipulation can be a problem with some prison penpals, particularly when money is involved. Cash can make a big difference to the quality of life inside prisons and there can be a strong temptation to get it through emotional blackmail. <br /><br />Of course, this happens with family members, too. I've often been queueing for payphones on prison wings and heard cons pleading or even bullying their parents, partners or other family members to send in cash, sometimes using excuses that are obviously untrue or far-fetched. All too often the money is used to pay debts they've run up to other cons or to fund various addictions and these situations can encourage dishonesty or manipulation, so I would always caution potential penpals to be aware of the possible risks. Having someone to write to on the outside should be a source of emotional and moral support. It shouldn't just turn into way of getting cash handouts. PrisonUKhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05060870139110580938noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8623255227619374869.post-56362516263291589322014-09-25T18:04:04.926+01:002014-09-25T18:04:04.926+01:00o.k thank you so much Alex!done a lot of research ...o.k thank you so much Alex!done a lot of research today and unfortunately my PP is ticking all the boxes of been an emotional manipulator...i just thought it was prison getting to him but he's going through all the cycles of manipulation:(Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com