Prison

Prison

Sunday 5 October 2014

Two’d Up… the Joys of Sharing a Cell

Most prisoners who aren’t in Cat-A (high security) prisons are likely to end up sharing a cell for at least part of their sentences – sometimes for several years. The current overcrowding situation in the prison estate has meant that lots of what were single pads (cells) have now been converted into tiny doubles, while in some nicks a few larger doubles now house three cons.

Two'd up... two cons in a shared pad
I have posted before about my thoughts on being ‘two’d up’ (as cons call it): Thoughts on Sharing a Cell (3 July 2014).  Personally, I always preferred to share a cell with a decent pad-mate to being locked up on my own, especially on those days when you have 23-hour bang-up. I’m a sociable person who enjoys company, but I know lots of other lads have different views and absolutely hate sharing a small space with another bloke, so as usual there are two sides to every story.

It has to be said that locking two adult men in a tiny space – about the size of a standard bathroom in a modern house – for many hours each day can put even the best relationship between mates to the test. As anyone who has lived with groups of men – for example in barracks in the armed services – will no doubt agree, blokes can be pretty scuzzy creatures. In all-male company they are less reserved about burping and farting loudly, or leaving smelly socks on the floor or not flushing the bog every time. No wonder so many women despair of their unhouse-trained male partners or teenage sons.

It can’t be said that prison always brings out the best in blokes. While a majority do try to keep themselves clean and hygienic, a fair few just don’t bother. I’ve met cons who absolutely reek of stale sweat, cheap tobacco, urine and various other noxious substances, often including so-called ‘legal’ highs that can stink like fish. You wouldn’t want to touch some of these guys with a bargepole.

Smokers: supposed to pad up together 
In theory, smokers are not supposed to be put in a cell with non-smokers, although it can still happen. An estimated 80 percent of adult male prisoners smoke, so it can be difficult to find enough non-smokers to sort out suitable sharing arrangements. However, the risk of a non-smoker suing the Prison Service over ill-health as a result of being forced to share a cell with a smoker is now being taken more seriously, so more of an effort is now made by wing managers in order to avoid this sort of problem arising.

When you initially get padded-up with another con you’ve never met before, you do tend to spend a couple of days assessing each other. Does he suffer from some form of obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD)? If so, then you might end up with a spotless cell, but then have a major row over a coffee mug stain on a table. Is he an obsessive masturbator? As you can imagine, that’s not entirely unknown in the slammer and can cause all sorts of awkward situations in a shared cell. 

Is he a junkie or a bag head? Being padded up with a lad who is involved with the drugs business (either as a dealer or as a user) can be a big no-no, particularly if you just want to keep your head down and do your ‘bird’ (sentence) quietly. Addicts are notorious for nicking other prisoners’ stuff to pay for their habits. They can have massive mood swings and that’s not great when you are locked in a tiny concrete box with them at the time.

Prison drugs: found during cell-spins
Another risk of being padded-up with someone involved with drugs or having a mobile phone or brewing hooch (prison alcohol) is that you are liable to get what is called a ‘cell-spin’. This is a thorough strip search of both cons in a cell, as well as the pad being ransacked top to bottom. Sniffer dogs can also be brought in to check the cell.

On a regular basis, this level of security scrutiny can get really tedious. Moreover, if anything is found, such as a wrap of drugs or a mobile phone hidden in a pad, then both inhabitants are liable to get ‘nicked’ (charged) by the screws and will have to face an adjudication hearing in front of a governor. Internal prison penalties range from ‘losses’ (of privileges or wages) to a number of days banged-up, either on a wing or down the Block (segregation unit). In the case of more serious offences an outside judge has to be brought in to sit as an Independent Adjudicator and he or she can add extra days to a prison sentence.

The Prison Service Instruction (PSI) that governs these issues is PSI 47/2011. It provides a list of all the possible internal disciplinary charges that can be brought against a prisoner. Paragraph 1.52 deals with having unauthorised articles in possession, or having more of any item than is permitted – excess prison kit, for example.

In a single cell, when an unauthorised article has been found, then the only real defence is “never seen it before, guv!” The usual claim is that either a previous occupant hid the item and left it when they moved cell, or someone else had access to the pad and concealed whatever has been found. In practice, most cons won’t have a prayer when using this defence at an adjudication hearing, but it may be the only option.

Contraband: who does it belong to?
The situation in a shared cell is obviously more complex. If contraband is found in a specific con’s locker or hidden under his mattress, then it’s usual just to charge that prisoner. However, if whatever has been found was concealed in a communal area (say around the WC, under the sink or inside a window-frame) then both inmates are liable to face charges, unless one of them owns up first. If you have a good pad-mate and he is at fault, then often this is what happens. He takes it on the chin and leaves you out of the mess he has created. Of course, it doesn’t always work that way.

In a shared cell, there are three specific elements to a possession charge that have to be ‘made out’ during an adjudication hearing before a governor (paragraph 2.68). The first (obviously) is that an unauthorised, or excess, item exists. Usually, the offending article is produced in a sealed evidence bag. That is the easy part of the case for the screws.

However, the second part of the case is that both cell-mates ‘had knowledge’ of the item. It is a defence to claim that even if your pad-mate had hidden a mobile or some drugs in your cell, you didn’t know about it. Sometimes this can happen and it can prove to be a reasonable line of defence, although not always. For example, if both cell-mates have previously tested positive for drugs, then in a drugs-related nicking there is likely to be less sympathy for that particular argument when a wrap turns up in their pad. 

Sniffer dog: where's the gear?
The third element in a nicking for unauthorised possession is ‘control’. Even if both pad-mates knew the illicit item was in the cell, did both of them exercise control over it? Just knowing that your cell-mate had a drugs wrap or a mobile phone isn’t – in theory, at least – sufficient for an adjudication case to be proven against you. This defence is included in the rules because in some instances a more dominant con might be bullying his pad-mate into keeping silent about the contraband. 

Of course, there can be big risks in using this line of defence because it essentially means ‘grassing-up’ your pad-mate by pointing the finger of blame at him. That’s why the second element – no knowledge of the item – is generally the best way to go.

When I was an Insider (peer mentor), I once helped a fellow con – nicknamed ‘Big Smithy’ – beat a nicking over contraband tattoo guns that had been found under his bed in his shared cell. He asked me to serve as his ‘McKenzie Friend’ (lay advisor) for his hearing, which I agreed to do.

Prison tattoo gun
The wing screws clearly believed that Big Smithy was banged to rights when they nicked him. After all, he did have a reputation of being one of the wing tattoo artists. 

However, as luck would have it, his pad-mate had been taken to court that very morning, so he wasn’t around when the illicit items were discovered during a cell-spin. When it came time for the adjudication, the cell-mate was still being held in another nick closer to the court where his case was being heard, so he wasn’t around to either be charged or to give evidence at the hearing. 

My ‘client’ took my advice and pleaded not guilty to the charges. In the end, without the other pad-mate being present, Big Smithy was able to argue that he knew nothing about the existence of the tattoo guns – which were made from cobbled together bits of old electric razors – and as such, he could never had had any control over them. We won the case and Big Smithy went back to the wing with a big smile on his face, much to the fury of the wing screws who ensured that I was given a rough time afterwards. In their book, a clever con is a dangerous con.

Of course, the best policy with a pad-mate is to find someone you like and trust and try to get two’d up together. Most wing screws are reasonable people and they know that there’s likely to be less grief if two cons agree to share a cell. I’ve never personally had any problem with asking for a specific cell move so I could pad-up with a mate. 

I won’t repeat what I’ve already posted elsewhere on this blog about some of the great blokes I shared with when I was inside beyond noting that a good pad-mate can be worth his weight in gold. If you become friends with a decent lad, then that friendship can last long after you’ve both been released and it can make your time in the slammer pass much more pleasantly. You might even have a laugh together, no matter how bleak or boring the rest of prison life can be.

27 comments:

  1. Prison hooch. What sort of quality did you encounter?

    Peter.

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    1. Thanks for your question, Peter. Personally, none because I've been teetotal for the past 20 years, initially for medical reasons, but now by personal choice.

      However, I've seen loads of hooch around in prisons. It is usually made from fruit juice or fresh fruit, sugar and - if it can be found - Marmite (for the yeast). Sometimes cons will use bread. Once made, it needs to be 'fed' with sugar and the whole concoction smells absolutely vile.

      It also needs to be kept warm, so prison laundries or cleaner's cupboards with hot pipes are a favourite place for brewing. Occasionally the brewer forgets to vent the gases and the whole foul mess explodes. Hooch can also have really bad impacts on people's health, even giving them food or alcohol poisoning. If cons really want alcohol, then the less troublesome way is to bribe a screw or a civilian worker to smuggle some in.

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    2. How are such bribes arranged? Presumably screws would be reluctant to accept multiple cans of tuna or packets of tobacco.

      Peter.

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    3. A tattoo gun in prison, sounds like a good way to catch HIV or Hepatitis.

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    4. Cash, is the quick answer, Peter! Usually paid in untraceable banknotes by someone on the outside direct to a screw.

      The mechanics - and risks - are very well described in 'Screwed' a book by an ex-screw (writing under the pseudonym 'Ronnie Thompson'). He explains how such corruption takes place and what happens if a bent screw gets caught by his or her own colleagues.

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    5. Thanks for your comment on tattoo guns. Sure. That's just one reason that tattooing is against the prison rules and why tat guns are contraband. Some of the infections and scars can be horrendous when it all goes pear-shaped.

      I've written more about the whole issue of tattoos in an earlier blog post: Prison Tattoos: a Personal View: http://prisonuk.blogspot.co.uk/2014/07/prison-tattoos-personal-view.html

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  2. Cons should try making potato hooch like pontikka.

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    1. Maybe start with kilju, which is fermented sugar, yeast & water.

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    2. Funnily enough, I know both pontikka and kilju because their origin is Finland and I lived there for a year or so when I was a teenager in the early 1980s!

      Because alcohol was a state monopoly - maybe it still is - and very expensive (and strictly controlled), my Finnish mates (and sometimes their dads and grand-dads) used to produce this stuff at home as it was so much cheaper! If I remember correctly, pontikka - which we all called 'ponu' was more like vodka, while kilju was a bit like sweet wine. I well remember them both, especially during lads' nights out by the lakeside saunas! What a blast from the past. I didn't expect that. Thanks!

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  3. Just imagine if you own a set of pyjamas and only wear the bottoms, you can wear the pyjama top as a makeshift lab coat during hooch production.

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    1. Thanks for your comment! No-one I know under 70 wears pyjama tops in the nick. I did have a couple of pairs of pj bottoms for lounging around in during the evenings after bang-up.

      Funnily enough, in Cat-D (open prison) everyone seemed to get changed into nightwear (mainly boxers, t-shirts, slippers and dressing gowns) at 7.00 pm in time for the evening roll check. The unit looked like a massive pyjama party for naughty kids being sent to bed early.

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  4. "Popular Music" by Mikael Niemi is a novel about drinking pontikka in Northern Finland.

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  5. There is a video on YouTube about the Aryan Brotherhood in US prisons. Someone mentioned that prisoners remove the water from the u-bends of their toilets and use them as telephones. Does this happen in the UK?

    Apparently prisoners also store small items in their nasal cavities. There must me some technique involved. It's not something I am going to try.

    Peter.

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    1. Thanks for your questions, Peter. I've not heard of the 'telephone toilet' in the UK, but then it's easier to shout out of windows or send messages on lines between windows. Maybe this sort of thing happens when prisoners are on 23-hour lockdown in the US.

      It might be possible to hide tiny items in the nose. The official searching procedures for prisoners do include looking into the nose and ears, as well as in the hair, so anything seems possible.

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  6. I spent night in police cell alone n found it boring. Doin time inside must mentally affect people. Vas

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    1. Thanks for your contribution, Vas. Yes, time spent in prison can have a very negative impact on some people's mental health. Boredom and stress can lead inmates who are vulnerable or distressed to self-harm or even attempt suicide. Even a short time in a police cell can be traumatic for some people to cope with.

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    2. I spent a weekend in a police cell and it is very boring. When I was arrested the first night I was drunk so just got the head down and it didn't bother me so much. I was questioned the next day but had to wait for court on Monday so the next night seemed very long. I was totally sober and could hear but not see all the goings on in the custody suite - drunks screaming and shouting coming in and alot of banging and shouting. I had nothing at all to do in the cell - ended up counting the bricks at one stage. And not being allowed to smoke was hard. I'm guessing being in solitary/the block is a bit like that only it's longer?

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    3. Thanks for your comments. A cell down in the Block is very similar to a police cell, although you do at least get a full set of prison-issue bedding in the nick. In my one night in the police cells I only had a very grubby blanket and it was freezing cold.

      The shouting and screaming that goes on all night in the police cells really doesn't happen in the Block, at least in my own limited experience. In fact, I found the segregation unit so quiet that I would have happily stayed down there for much of my sentence!

      It can be very boring of course. I was lucky because I was permitted to have a thick paperback book to read, but no TV or radio. Some people do survive weeks, months or longer in these conditions, but it is well documented that solitary confinement does have a very negative impact on mental health, so the longer a con is down the Block, the worse any psychological problems are likely to get.

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  7. Have you read "The house of the dead"? Part of the story is about drinking illegal alcohol in a Siberian Prison

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    1. Thanks for your comment. Yes, I studied Russian some years ago and got interested in Dostoevsky's novels then.

      A more up to date account - and much more disturbing - is A Siberian Education by Siberian gangster Nicolai Lilin. This describes all aspects of the horrendous Russian prison system, including violence, rape, mutilation, tattooing... makes UK prisons look like Butlins on a good day!

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  8. Hi Alex,

    I think I'm the exact opposite of you. I would prefer not to share an enclosed space where I'd have to eat, sleep and share a toilet in close proximity with a complete stranger. I am also very comfortable in my own company and would be able to keep myself occupied in-cell with calisthenics, writing and reading etc.

    Is there anything you can suggest for prisoners who wish to be in a single cell but not be locked up in the Punishment blocks?

    My solicitor says it will be very likely I will be transferred to Wandsworth after sentencing as this is the local Cat-B prison for my assessments to take place. He has warned me that Wandsworth suffers chronic over-crowding and as such, will be very unlikely to get single cells.

    However, I'd still like to try whatever I can whilst I'm in there. Perhaps trying to get a job as a wing cleaner maybe? Or as a non-smoker, perhaps there might not be enough other non-smokers around which would mean a single cell? Or perhaps any medical conditions I might have could help sway the screws?

    I realise I'm not going to a Butlins so can't have everything my own way, but fore knowledge is fore armed and the more I know before I go in, the better my chances of having a more comfortable existence.

    My intention is the make the best of a bad situation so even if I am forced to share, I hope I get an interesting pad-mate as you did and share our war stories during the long periods of bang-up.

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    1. Hi, thanks for your comments and questions. Sure, I know plenty of lads who really can't bear the idea of sharing a pad with a stranger.

      As you probably know, the prison system is very overcrowded, especially in the Cat-B locals where newly sentenced prisoners go initially. If you go to Wandsworth, you may want to watch this video made about eight months ago by an ex-con who was working in the Induction wing at that nick: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C64M0Oj-Kwo&list=UUoGKAF-CHKRwmFbK8fuwHAg

      I think that will give you an idea of the many issues and problems. including his comments on cell-sharing.

      Being a non-smoker might help, but I wouldn't bank on it! My advice would be to prepare yourself mentally for having to share for a while at least until you get to another prison. Medical issues really don't help in my experience. I've known blokes with PTSD, really bad mental health problems, horrendous ulcers from drugs, even in wheelchairs and none of that has got them a single pad, even if recommended by healthcare.

      Your better bet would probably be to find someone with similar interests and TV viewing tastes who you feel you can cope with for a few weeks or even months. Check things like bedtimes with them as well. If you like to sleep at 11pm, then don't pad-up with a lad who sits up all night watching TV! If you are ex-forces, then try to find someone via the prison's Veterans in Custody (VICS) support group.

      Honestly, sharing can be bearable - even reasonably pleasant - as long as you have the right bloke. In a Cat-B I shared for six months with an ex-deputy bank manager (sticky fingers!) who proved to be one of the nicest guys I've met in the nick. We are still in touch now were both on the out!

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  9. Great blog Alex! Enjoyed the insight.

    What are the odds someone ends up with a nice cellmate? Is it rare - or do the majority of dual person cells get along?

    Thanks again, enjoyed it!

    -ConsCallHome.com

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    1. Thanks for your comments. Sharing a cell can be pretty hit and miss, to be honest. I've had some really great pad-mates and a couple of horrors!

      The usual practice, in my experience, is that you just get put in with some random when you first arrive on a wing and then either stick with them if the share works well, or else try to find a more suitable pad-mate once you get to know people. Obviously if you have already been inside for a while, then you might recognise prisoners from other nicks you've been in and then you try to share with someone you already know.

      The biggest issues are smoking, bedtimes and TV preferences. Non-smokers aren't supposed to be made to share with smokers, but it still happens on occasion, particularly when prisons are overcrowded. If you find someone who likes to go to sleep around the same time as you and who like similar TV programmes, then you've hit the jackpot. And if they don't snore like a freight-train, then it's like winning the lottery!

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  10. I'm 19 years old and was arrested for possession of a disguised taser, I'm going to crown court on the 5th of January. Minimum sentence for my charge is 5 years. I have braces which need to be tightened and removed eventually, will they let me out to get this done? Also I have high functioning autism, i have very poor social skills and become very aggressive in social situations so i fear i won't do too well. I also tend to become extremely mentally unstable, I have racing thoughts of hurting people when I feel lonely which i inevitably will. Should this be mentioned in court or should I keep it to myself? Any mental health help inside the nick? I'm not worried about becoming depressed, I'm worried about getting into further trouble due to my violent tendencies

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