Prison

Prison

Saturday 3 January 2015

The Lost Boys of Our Prison System

As 2015 began the thought suddenly hit me that this is the first New Year that has started without me either being in prison – or facing the possibility of trial, conviction and incarceration – since 1st January 2010. All in all, it has been a long five years. However, I still consider myself very fortunate when I think about the situations of so many people that I’ve met during my time in prison.

You do encounter all sorts of folk in the slammer, including many who have serious mental health problems and the elderly, but it’s often the youngest cons who tend to stick in the mind. Some of them look far too young to be banged up in an adult jail. A few seem like they should still be in school doing GCSEs rather than in a Cat-B local nick doing porridge, yet there they are, wandering along the landings at the age of 18.

Young, vulnerable... and in an adult men's prison
You tend to meet these lads in Cat-Bs simply because they are usually being held on remand awaiting trial often on serious charges, although not always. Sometimes its because they have already been convicted but are being assessed before transfer to Young Offender Institutions (YOIs). Anyone aged under 21 is officially considered to be a Young Prisoner (YP) and they aren’t supposed to share cells with adult cons – anyone aged over 21 – yet they can still spend months trying to survive on the wings of adult establishments which really don’t have the staff or the resources to look after them safely.

In some cases they are living with severe mental illness or serious personality disorders, while others are desperately immature even for teenagers. For many, prison is just the latest stage in a wretched journey from dysfunctional or abusive home lives, institutional care or the Youth Justice system. As a relative newcomer to the world of prison myself, I was astonished to find that these kids – because that is what most of them still are – can be banged up with much older adults while on remand or prior to being transferred to a YOI.

When you first see these YPs being led by a screw on to an adult wing fresh from Reception, you wonder just how they will survive. Sadly, a few don’t, but even those who do can’t fail to be scarred by their experiences among adult inmates.

As an Insider (peer mentor) in a large – and very overcrowded – Cat-B local nick, I was once asked by a fellow con to go and have a chat with a newly arrived YP. “I think he’s going to have problems,” was what he told me. Nothing prepared me for what I found when I knocked on the door of this lad’s cell on the Twos (first floor landing). 

Depression and despair in cell
The boy – let’s call him ‘Sam’ (not his real name) – was sitting on the bottom bunk sobbing his heart out. He was 5ft 4”, skinny as a rake and looked about 14, although in fact he had just turned 18. I doubted that he had ever shaved in his life – or had needed to – and I was easily old enough to be his dad.

Down in the Reception stores they hadn’t been able to find him small enough prison gear to properly fit his slight frame. He was dressed in oversized grey prison joggers that he had to hold up when he walked and a light blue t-shirt that fitted him like a sack. 

When I came into his pad (cell) and he saw that I wasn’t a screw in uniform he cowered into the corner, shaking with fear for reasons that became very clear a little later on. He obviously thought that I had come to do him harm of some kind. It took time and patience to convince him that although I was a fellow con, I had an official role as an Insider who might be able to help him through his time on remand at the nick.

In between bouts of tears it became clear that all he really wanted to do was to find a relatively painless way to kill himself. He was so terrified that the idea of dying seemed to be the only way he could cope with the reality of being locked up with 170 much older blokes, some of whom could easily have eaten him for breakfast. 

Trainers with long laces
He was also distressed because the Reception screws had taken all his own clothing – including his trainers. Although prisoners on remand are entitled to wear their own clothes, this particular nick routinely ignored the rules.

Sam had found the initial strip search when he arrived to be deeply traumatic, again for reasons that became clear in due course, and he really wanted his own trainers back. Instead he had been given a pair of prison ‘Ranby Reeboks’ – gray canvas deck shoes with white rubber soles and velcro fasteners. It emerged that the main reason he wanted his trainers back was so he could tie the laces together to make a ligature with which to hang himself from the end of his bunk – the only way he could see out of his terrifying predicament at that moment.

At one point he even asked me whether I thought hanging would “hurt much”... a question posed with the wide-eyed innocence of a much younger child. I must admit that I had such a lump in my own throat that I felt like bursting into tears alongside him.

Shoelace noose
I’d been in prison long enough to be able to distinguish between real distress and new cons who were mere attention-seekers (and there are more than a few of these in any nick). In my view Sam was extremely vulnerable and at real risk of self-harm, perhaps even suicide. I spent most of the afternoon trying to calm him down and convince him that killing himself wasn’t his only option. The problem was that not only did he look about 14, he was so immature that he was functioning at the level of a child even younger than that.

A couple of weeks earlier, at the same prison and on the same wing, a severely depressed 21-year old on remand had actually committed suicide while on the highly punitive Basic regime. His death had had such an impact on those who knew him that none of us wanted another suicide, so there was a genuinely heightened sense of looking out for the more vulnerable prisoners in our midst.

That’s not to say that there weren’t plenty of low-life hyenas around who would have homed-in on such a vulnerable kid and stripped him of everything he had, which wasn’t much to start with, including his food. However, at that particular moment the ex-armed services veterans on the wing had the upper hand and we were doing our best, amid widespread staff indifference, to avoid any more tragedies. 

Following the previous suicide on the wing, we had pretty much given up on the official ‘Safer Custody’ system – headed by an incompetent, and often inebriated, custodial manager – since she seemed far more interested in covering her own backside than actually reducing the risk of further suicides. In fact, when she decided to hold a wing meeting in the aftermath of the latest death on her watch, she made the mistake of asking if anyone had anything to say and one of the braver lads shouted down from an upper landing: “You have blood on your hands!” He was a lone voice, but he spoke for the majority of us.

It's not always so obvious
Our own informal network, which included liaison with other inmate support groups – such as the Samaritan-trained Listeners - as well as with the Chaplaincy team, probably did more to avert further suicides than any amount of bureaucratic so-called ‘Safer Custody’ meetings. We decided that Sam was not about to become the latest statistic at what even the HM Inspectorate of Prisons had condemned as an establishment in crisis.

So a small group of us provided support and protection. As the days went by, I got to know Sam better. If I had set out to write a classic British horror story, I could not have invented Sam’s life history. His violent drunk of a father started beating and raping him at the age of five. All his siblings, male and female, experienced the same sort of horrific violations and this went on for years, right under the noses of social services to whom the family was well-known. This young kid had experienced depths of misery and adult depravity that would break the heart of anyone with an ounce of empathy or compassion for others. 

Even though Sam’s father is now serving a life sentence in jail for the crimes he committed against his own children, this hadn’t relieved the hurt or damage his son continues to live with every day of his life. The fact that he had been ‘self-medicating’ with drugs and alcohol throughout most of his teenage years in an effort to cope with the memories of his terrible childhood hardly came as a surprise, nor did his tendency to lash out in fear and anger at others when under their influence – hence his being remanded in custody after a serious assault.

Frightened and behind bars
Once he’d shared some details of his history, it made sense why being forced to strip naked in front of the male Reception screws had been so traumatic for him – and why he feared that every con he encountered would only want to abuse or exploit him. Sam had never really been able to trust any adult male before, so it’s ironic that he only found people he could open up to inside the nick.

I’d like to write here that when he went to court Sam was treated leniently and received the professional help he very obviously needed. Sadly, he was handed down a hefty prison sentence and was eventually transferred from the adult jail to a YOI. Who knows whether he is getting treatment that will assist him to turn his life around? I hope he is, but to be honest, I fear the worst especially after reading recent highly critical reports on some of our YOIs issued by HM Inspectorate of Prisons. These seem to be even more of a jungle environment where the strong fight to survive than most of our adult nicks.

Our prison system often simply warehouses deeply damaged kids and severely traumatised young people like Sam. I’ve come across them on Cat-B local wings, as well as after they have turned 21 and have been transferred from YOIs to the adult prison system. A fair few of them arrive with a serious drug habit, even if they didn’t have one when they were sent down. Many have complex needs that aren’t being addressed by simply banging them up in a tiny concrete box behind a heavy steel door and then hoping that they won’t self-harm or kill themselves in their depression and despair – thus contributing to what Chris Grayling has shamefully described as a recent “blip” in the suicide statistics. 

Perhaps Sam was lucky that he found a few older inmates who were willing to let him speak about his problems while also looking out for him and keeping the hyenas and predators – of all sorts – at bay while he was living among us: a young, vulnerable and frightened kid on a jail wing full of adult men. He could easily have become just another statistic in the shamefully long list of people who have committed suicide in our increasingly overcrowded and understaffed prisons. 

50 comments:

  1. Thanks it is awful to be reminded of this stuff - somewhere right now in the English and Welsh Prison system will be young men with similar experiences to 'Sam', whose plight is unrecognised by those in authority.

    In a 30 year career as a probation officer I met numbers of them, especially when I worked for five years in a Local Prison. Not all suffering real distress are young, or male, staff largely need to get hardened to doing what they can and then getting on with the next task or simply going home at the end of the working day.

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    1. Thanks for your contribution, Andrew. As I mention in the post above, I've met a depressingly high number of young prisoners who are extremely vulnerable in Cat-B locals and to be honest I've been appalled at how the current system 'processes and warehouses' young remands. Some of these lads (and I can only assume the situation is similar for teenage girls) have mental and emotional capacities that fall far below their actual ages. In many cases, that is at least an element in the often complex reasons they find themselves in custody.

      It is worrying that these vulnerable young 'adults' - who are often on remand awaiting trial and are at that stage unconvicted of any crime - receive much the same treatment in our prisons as much older offenders who have been convicted and may have served years inside. Is it any wonder that some of them can't see any way out except suicide or self-harm? Like 'Sam', they can come to regard death by hanging (or actually by slow strangulation using an improvised ligature) as a 'quick fix'. The aftermath can be absolutely horrendous for all concerned: family, friends (inside and out) and members of staff.

      I think that you are also correct when you write that prison staff (uniformed and civilian) do "get hardened" to what they have to see day in and day out in Reception, on the wings or down the Block (segregation unit). Getting emotionally involved can just contribute to burning out.

      Moreover, the demands of prison routine, current overcrowding in most prisons and staff shortages all mean that vulnerable inmates can't always be monitored effectively. It can be difficult to justify 24-hour 'constant watch' of every distressed or at risk prisoner, even young lads like 'Sam' - and that is why too many tragedies are occurring. As is often the case, a lack of resources is contributing to the rising death toll in our prisons.

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  2. Morning Alex, firstly I love your blogs. This one particularly got to me though. Have you ever seen the film Starred Up? I watched it last night, then saw your blog this morning. The film basically portrays what you are saying here. It's so sad and frustrating. I work with a lot of young offenders, and I would say that all of them trust me. We have built up a relationship where they can talk to me. So why isn't this happening, why aren't these boys getting the support where they need it most? I was asked to see someone the other day. He's been in custody since the age of 15 (he's 22 now) for robbery of a mobile phone. He was an IPP and literally just forgotten about. I was fuming, he has to assure me he was ok. It's so distressing that the system is designed to let people down, especially young offenders and what's more appalling is that the general public have absolutely no idea.

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    1. Thanks for your comments, Pel. I have seen 'Starred Up' - fairly accurate in parts, although a few elements of the storyline were a bit contrived!

      Occasionally, YOs are sent to adult jails because they are considered too violent for YOIs, although to be honest some YOIs - such as Glen Parva - seem to be more violent than most adult jails. In the case I wrote about in my latest post, however, this was an 18-year old held on remand in an adult Cat-B prison pending trial. Unfortunately, these establishments lack the specialist resources to support lads like 'Sam'. If you have anything up to 160 or 170 prisoners on each wing - maybe over 700 in total - and too few staff, it becomes impossible to monitor high risk inmates round the clock and that is when suicides happen.

      Our YOIs and prisons are full of people who have been in custody since their teens - whether in secure units, YOIs or adult jails. I also know prisoners who are in effect lifers who came into the system aged 15 or 16 and who are still there in their mid-20s. Personally, I'm opposed to the use of any life sentence (including the now discontinued IPP) for anyone who is legally a child at the time an offence was committed. I am also against holding any YO with adults. However, given the present prisons crisis it's difficult to see how anything will improve in the short-term.

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  3. Alas this story rings all too true in my experience and is a damning indictment of our society and our complete failure to prevent such horrific abuse happening both inside and outside of our prison system. In the 3 1/2 years I was inside I knew a significant number of women and young women self harm horrifically and unfortunately more than a few who managed to kill themselves largely due to the total failure of the governors of each individual nick to actually give a damn and put in place things that would have actually prevented these tragedies. Our listeners got burnt out on a regular basis as they were basically shouldering the entire burden of having to deal with a staggeringly large number of women who had emotional and mental health issues who should never have been locked up in prison in the first place. But Grayling and his cohorts apparently don't give a damn about the human cost of their vindictive and abuse prison and judicial systems and seem to take the attitude that if someone ends up being driven to kill themselves well that is just too bad but at least its one less person to claim benefits when they get out.

    On a different topic I am curious as to why you don't appear to have written much about being out on licence and the probation system because this is the other side of the coin for those who have experienced incarceration?? Perhaps a future post or two?

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    1. Thanks for your comments and for sharing your own prison experiences on this subject. It's good to have a female perspective on this problem as I can only comment on the situation in adult male prisons.

      I agree with all your comments about the official 'Safer Custody' system. Far too much time is spent on bureaucracy and box-ticking and too little on actually supporting those at risk of self-harm or suicide. The Prison Service's ACCT (Assessment and Care in Custody Teamwork) protocols are only as effective as those wing staff and managers who implement them. When frontline staff are in short supply, the ACCT system simply can't address the many complex problems. Moreover, when you also have some staff who behave as if the whole ACCT monitoring process is a big joke or else a pain in the backside, then it is already set up to fail.

      You make a good point about Listeners getting 'burnt out' by the pressures of listening to fellow prisoners at risk of self-harm or suicide. Even when they have been trained by the Samaritans, Listeners shouldn't be used by prisons to 'babysit' in lieu of paid staff - yet this happens all the time. Insiders (peer mentors) are used in a similar way. Yet no-one really seems to take seriously the impact that the suicide of a fellow con can have on other prisoners who have tried to help them. Psychologically devastating, yet there is little support for Listeners and, as far as I was aware, none for Insiders.

      Mr Grayling, on the other hand, dismisses all this as a statistical "blip". Given such a lack of human empathy, I wonder what a prison psychologist would make of his comment... perhaps a psychopathic personality disorder?

      I do intend to write something about licence and Probation in the near future! Thanks for the gentle nudge in the right direction.

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    2. Actually I remember reading something not that long ago. In Inside Time I think (online) whereby a psychologist actually stated that Grayling perfectly fit the definition of a psychopath

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    3. Thanks for your observation. I seem to recall reading that in Inside Time! I suspect that many politicians might fall into the same category... refusal to recognise harm caused to others; lack of empathy with their victims; delusions of grandiosity (or in Mr G's case a misplaced delusion of adequacy for his job).

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  4. We at PTSD Veterans Retreat would like to hear from prisoners who are HM Forces Veterans and diagnosed with Service related Mental Health/PTSD....we are on LinkedIn/Facebook/Twitter etc....

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    1. Thanks for your comment. If you have a website link I'll happily add it to my side bar on this blog.

      Have you read my previous post on veterans in custody: A Prison Landing Fit For Heroes? http://prisonuk.blogspot.co.uk/2014/07/a-prison-landing-fit-for-heroes.html.

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  5. dont overlook that placing an inmate on ACCT can be a trigger to far more attention from the hyenas and wolves on the wing so can be counter productive sometimes, even on vulnerables landings

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    1. That is true - I've seen it happen a few times but it's quite rare. The predatory types are the minority on the wings - it might surprise some that most cons are actually very supportive of others. Been on ACCT highlights the guy is having problems and others do tend to rally around him and offer a level of protection and sympathy.

      I've even seen small gifts (maybe half a bar of cheap chocolate) given to guys on ACCT. I imaging that must lift spirits a little when all else seems hopeless.

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    2. Thanks for both your comments above. My own experience with fellow prisoners on the ACCT book is very negative. I found that for some staff it was an unwelcome chore to monitor vulnerable cons and in a few cases it was done so unprofessionally as to be vindictive (repeatedly waking up sleeping prisoners during the night as a form of 'punishment') or made so humiliating that it was absolutely counter-productive. I know prisoners who have pretended to be OK just to get off the ACCT book and who have then attempted suicide, two of whom died (one a few days after coming off the book).

      On the other hand, if you have the right mix of supportive fellow prisoners, things can improve. I'm convinced that Listeners and Insiders can and do save many lives every year in our prisons. I would agree that the proportion of cons who are predators are actually much smaller than people outside prisons would imagine, although a fair number do exist and are quite capable of finding new victims inside the nick, just as they are when back on the street.

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  6. Really good account and realities or what it is like in a prison. Unfortunately the experiences of a vast number of individuals in prison have been like Sams. I have found that the "hyenas" are very similar, whilst not all have experienced sexual abuse, many people have experienced neglect, psychological and physical abuse. The only difference is that they have learnt to abuse rather than continue to be abused. Also this helps to push people away from them, after all who wants to be near a manipulative, aggressive so and so....

    Unfortunately society and the press do not want to acknowledge the realities of the individuals that have committed crimes and thus politicians are so focused on being punitive and punishing those that have done harm, unfortunately making conditions where individuals are warehoused will not help to repair the harm that has been done to these individuals. I really hope that articles like this continue to raise awareness.

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    1. Thanks for your kind comments. I'm glad that you found the post interesting. In my own experience abuse (of different kinds) in childhood can go either way. Some survivors are strong enough to use their own traumatic experiences to identify and support others who are in a similar situation. However, some - sadly - continue the cycle of abuse by bullying, dominating, exploiting and, on occasion, sexually assaulting new victims.

      Unfortunately, the highly 'macho' world of male prisons tends to see anyone who admits to having been abused - whether as a child or as an adult - as weak and vulnerable. This in turn tends to 'legitimise' their further exploitation as they are sometimes considered to be 'less than men'.

      In my opinion, prison culture has a tendency to perpetuate bullying and controlling behaviour, precisely because it is based on hierarchies of power, reinforced by the constant threat of physical violence in case of non-compliance. It isn't really possible to tackle bullying behaviour by prisoners in an environment where various forms of bullying by staff and some privileged cons are seen as legitimate methods of control. Common sense should suggest that when a human being has already been mistreated or abused prior to imprisonment, then abusing them further or treating them brutally while they are in jail is not likely to achieve positive outcomes.

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    2. Alex, please please please stand for election as MP for Epson & Ewell. Just to get Grayling out. It seems you know much more about his job than he does - he just needs to be gone and quickly before he kills more people.

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    3. Thanks for your kind suggestion! Unfortunately, as I currently have a criminal conviction I'm barred from contesting elections in the UK.

      One of the great ironies of our criminal justice system - particularly prisons - is that most of those who have experienced life inside as a prisoner are constitutionally barred from elected office, as well as working in the criminal justice system - including as prison inspectors or members of Independent Monitoring Boards (IMBs). This means that those who have first-hand knowledge are banned from using it to help improve the penal system. Of course, if I eventually get my conviction quashed, I'll be better placed to consider my options!

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  7. Im due to be sent down this year for 6-12 months..can u give me a definitive list of items I can take inside with me?

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    1. Thanks for your question. I have posted on this issue on the blog on 2 October 2014: http://prisonuk.blogspot.co.uk/2014/10/off-to-prison-my-packing-list.html. Have a look at that and let me know if you have any specific issues I might be able to clarify for you.

      You can also get the full National Facilities List online. Just Google "PSI 30/2013" and you should get the full document as a PDF. Look at page 43 onwards - Annex F. This gives the full list. However, some prisons - depending on the security category - do not allow all of these items since individual Governors still have limited discretion over what they will permit prisoners to have 'in possession'.

      So far, the only recent amendment to PSI 30/2013 has been to relax the original ban on steel strings for guitars. The blanket ban on prisoners having books sent in from family, friends or outside organisations has been ruled unlawful in the High Court, but no change in policy has yet been announced by the Ministry of Justice.

      If you are only in for a few months, you might not be eligible to have your own clothing in possession as it's unlikely on a six month sentence (three months inside) that you'd get onto Enhanced level which some nicks require. Other prisons do allow Standard level cons to wear their own clothes, so that would mean that you should be eligible after two weeks on Entry level.

      If you know which Cat-B local prison is nearest the court where you will be sentenced, then it might be worth giving them a call to check the local rules. Best of luck with the sentence.

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    2. Yeah ill ring the local cat b i think, im def gonna pack clothes, trainers, writing materials, 10 books, 30 cds, clothing, trainers, a radio/cd player, and hair and nail clippers. It says 125 grams is permitted as a max...does that mean i cant take baccy in with me??? Obviously the list says what u can have/ purchase but does.it reflect what can bring in on conviction?

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    3. Usually if you have items that are permissible on the Facility List then you can bring it in with you at the time of Reception. Make sure you have everything with you in a holdall in the dock as once you've been sent down no-one can give you anything without it going through the prison. What you have with you, however, should be bagged and tagged and put in the prison transport ('sweatbox') to accompany you to the nick.

      All personal clothing (maybe not socks and underwear) is likely to be put in your stored prop box until you get off Entry Level (two weeks) unless you are in a nick where you can't have personal clothing until you are on Enhanced (add on another three months). Definitely take in shower flip-flops, a decent towel and a dressing gown (no hood or lining). You might also want to pack two pairs of trainers (one for gym, one for daily use) and your own gym shorts etc. No clothing can be black or plain white (screws' colours).

      Make sure nothing electrical is rechargeable (otherwise it won't be allowed as it might be used to recharge mobile phones). All electricals will take a few days to be PAT tested by the prison then you should get them. No digital alarm clock either, but you can have an ordinary battery one. Also in-ear type headphone are useful to listen to music etc when your pad-mate is watching TV.

      Make sure you have mains powered hair clippers (no scissors). I'd recommend you take in some foam earplugs... essential to get a good night's sleep, especially if your padmate snores like a freight train!

      If you wet shave, then take in a good razor with plenty of spare blades. The only usual canteen offerings are £1 disposables (terrible) or Gillette Mach 3 (bloody expensive). If you're going to be in for a while, then maybe a Mach 3 is the best bet as you won't be able to get any other replacement blades inside.

      My experience with tobacco ('burn') is that anything you bring in with you may get confiscated as it could have been mixed with drugs. You might be allowed to keep a closed pack, but I really doubt it. During reception you should be offered a 'smoker's pack' for which you'll be charged from your prison account, so take some cash with you and make sure it's put on your tab. I took in £100 in £20 notes and that kept me going for a while.

      You might be allowed to take in a stainless steel hot water flask. If you play chess and/or Scrabble, you should also be allowed a set on reception. I'd also try to take in a plastic mug that keeps drinks hot. You can't take in china now, but a plastic one with a lid might be OK.

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  8. Thanks that great...i did a stint in notts hmp (3 weeks).before cat d, but i rarely saw guys wearing their own clothes. Errr if i want a quiet life is the vp wing worth a go if i can deal with their crimes...(im a father.of 2) i have read that most of the food gets some unwanted flavourings....

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    1. Thanks for the questions. I think that Notts may be one of the Cat-B local nicks that allows Enhanced level only to wear their own clothes. Lincoln is another.

      My advice is generally against opting for VP status (unless there is a specific reason). Most VPUs are so overcrowded now because of the current influx of people convicted of historic sexual offences that I suspect many prisons won't place new receptions there unless their offences are either sexual or involve violence against kids.

      My best guess is that wanting a quiet life won't get anyone VP status. Also, going 'on the numbers' can have other negative consequences including restricting what jobs are available and what other prisons will accept you on transfer, so I'd try to keep clear unless there is a very real risk to your safety.

      I think every con has heard stories of the food on VPUs getting contaminated, but from what I gather the food wagons are mixed up by the kitchen staff before delivery to the wings to reduce the risk. Again, this sort of thing may happen, but I suspect it's more psychological warfare and nick legend than actual fact these days.

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  9. Through work, I've had a glimpse of the kind of institutions that house some of our most damaged and vulnerable youngsters - the kids who cannot be cared for in foster homes because their behaviour (caused, very often, by neglect and abuse) makes them a danger to themselves and others. These placements can cost local authorities upwards of £250000 per annum, and they serve as stopgaps until the child in question is old enough to go to prison. Imagine what changes could be made if this money were spent on early intervention and education...

    On a different topic, what is your view on the Belgian prisoner being given 'help to die'? I have nightmare visions of wrongly convicted prisoners requesting euthanasia because they cannot face the prospect of years in prison.

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    1. Thanks for your comments. I agree. If a fraction of the amount of money that is wasted on funding institutional places was spend more creatively, I suspect that the end results could be much more positive. I have always been in favour of early intervention, long before I saw the long-term consequences for myself in prison!

      On your question re: Frank Van Den Bleeken's request for euthanasia I'm in two minds. I can well understand why a prisoner who is facing a whole life tariff might prefer to opt for an easy death. Sadly many people who just can't cope with prison life take their own lives in our own jails, innocent and guilty alike.

      My hesitation is that I've often helped individuals who have wished to die at some stage in their sentence, mostly in the early days, but some much later in their time in custody. Most have received support or realised that life is bearable, particularly with good friends inside and family concern from outside. Eventually, most seem genuinely glad that they didn't attempt suicide.

      On the other hand, I've never condemned any inmate who has taken the decision to end their own lives. For some - including those in chronic pain (physical or psychological) whose conditions aren't being managed in prison - then I respect their right as adults to make such a decision. Being a prisoner means that you lose all sorts of power over your own life, however, the right to end it by any means available remains. I'm always sad when I hear about prison suicides because in many cases appropriate support and care might have made a difference, but I'm pretty clear that if I had received an indeterminate sentence myself, then I'd have seriously considered suicide as the 'least worst' option available to me in that situation.

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  10. Alex another question above.reagardng proprty (baccy actually!)

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  11. Good lord your patient! Lol

    Yeah ill ring the local cat b i think, im def gonna pack clothes, trainers, writing materials, 10 books, 30 cds, clothing, trainers, a radio/cd player, and hair and nail clippers. It says 125 grams is permitted as a max...does that mean i cant take baccy in with me??? Obviously the list says what u can have/ purchase but does.it reflect what can bring in on conviction?

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    1. Thanks for your question. To be honest the reception rules seem to differ from prison to prison. Some will allow you to keep some burn, others put it into your stored prop and will then sell you a 'smoker's pack'!

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  12. It very much depends on the rules at the prison you're sent to. When I was sent down I took with me 100g of tobacco, a pair of trainers, 7 sets of underwear, writing paper, blank envelopes and a biro. In reception at the first Cat-B I was sent to I was allowed my trainers and nothing else. The rest was stored in my property.

    4 weeks later I was shipped out to another Cat-B. In reception there I was allowed to have everything. Even the reception screws were surprised I hadn't been allowed it before.

    Be very careful if you do take a large amount of tobacco. Hide it very well in your cell and don't let anybody know you have it - not even your cellmate. Even a 12.5g pouch is valuable inside, if anybody knows you've 100g you will get hounded and most likely it will be stolen.

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    1. Thanks for your very sensible contribution - and the good advice. It's always worth remembering that if you do have items in stored prop then when you move prisons you can get most of it issued. I've also had similar experiences.

      The advice on pad-thieves and burn is very important. Of all the things thieves target inside, burn, illegal drugs and prescribed medication are pretty close to the top of the list! Some pad-mates are great lads, some are real low-lifes, so always keep your burn well hidden!

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    2. A couple more thoughts about burn - even if you're allowed to take it in - accept the smokers pack which should be offered to you. It has a lighter and rolling papers which won't be allowed in. Also, take a brand that is available on the prison canteen - from memory it was Rodeo, Golden Virginia, Amber Leaf and Turners. Almost everybody smokes Amber Leaf. Don't take 50g packs - they're not available on the canteen. If you're seen with anything that's clearly come from outside the other cons will suspect you're got a stash in your cell.

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    3. Thanks for the additional advice - all of which is very sound and sensible! Amber Leaf is definitely the burn of choice - both for smoking and for doing business in the nick!

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  13. Good shout out...ill take in x4 25g then...at least ill get it back at some point! Thanks fellas. I do hope im not sharing with a baboon...my 3 cell matew at my last prisons were kind, supportive, and had a sense of humour..sure they were experienced but had bad days too, and onces id relaxed i cheered them up too. I recall my new pa mate was on basic and had nothing, I naturally shared all my stuff including burn. I did this because Im human, not because Im a pussy. His advice stood me in good stead. And even tho i was only with him a few weeks, we grew close. He said he had enjoyed my company.as.i was the usual prison muppet who talked about gang and drugs, we had real convos about normal things...it was refreshing and uplifting for him. He hadnt had much kindness shown to him in his 7 years, and when my parents sent him.some.trainers for when he got out (long after my release) he wrote a heart felt letter to me expressing how amazing it was to be thanked for watching out for me. He was a proper crim with a real heart. He rang me on the out and said " you ever need anything at all, for the rest of your life, ill be there, ill sort it, whatever you need im indebted to you"
    So sure im scared about 12 months inside...not long perhaps..but a year away from.my 6 yr old boy, my baby, and my missus and parents is long enough. I guess im saying there are some sound guys inside, we all have hearts and feelings, so its important to show some love and kindness if you feel you can...it can lift a mans spirits out of that cell, and onto a higher plain..Human kindness is a power we have over our monkeys with keys....and I really hope I get the opportunity to help someone too. Its better to give than receive ( no gay jokes please!) ; )

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    1. Glad you found the advice helpful. Sharing a pad - almost a certainty these days with the overcrowding in most nicks - is always going to be a lottery. I was lucky. Out of 15 pad-mates, I only had one stinker (never showered), one cutter (self-harmer), one chain smoker (only one night) and a body-building sted-head weirdo who tried to sexually assault me (despite the fact that he was married with a young kid)! All the others were sound lads and I'm still in touch with five of them who are now all out.

      It must be a struggle sharing with a lad on Basic regime, but it sounds like you really struck gold there. A bit of human kindness rarely goes amiss in the nick.

      A mate of mine who I got to know well in a Cat-B has just ended up back inside for some stupidity following nearly two years on the out and I've just sent him £50 to tide him over during his Entry level period back in another Cat-B local. He is a good lad and I'll do pretty much anything to help him if I can because I believe loyalty to your mates is important. I just wish I could do more for him.

      Good luck with your own bird. You seem like a really sound lad. I really hope the time passes quickly so you get back to your family where you belong.

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  14. See a French translation in : http://brunodesbaumettes.overblog.com/2015/01/jeunes-emprisonnes-au-royaume-uni-regard-d-un-initie.html

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    1. Many thanks for that! It's great to see the blog posts getting an international audience. In fact, readers from France are the third largest group for my blog (after the UK and the USA).

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  15. Cheers alex, sounds like u had some worrying pad mates...lol...i think showing some kindness.and understanding.goes a long way inside, you only have each other day to day, and we all need someone to cheer us up and have a cuppa with...well my next plod interview is 9th of feb..another no comment i think!

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    1. Best of luck with everything. Hope if you do end up as a guest of Her Majesty for a bit that you do get a decent pad-mate. To be honest, a couple of mine are now more like brothers and we are in touch very regularly. As you write above you do need mates on a day to day basis and a good pad-mate is a massive bonus!

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  16. In your opinion...(i got.8 months 8 years ago for pervert the course of justice- 1st offence)
    I got tag etc etc. This offence is supply class c, will they take me as low risk and consider d cat and a positive hdc sentence a good thing?
    Im hoping so...kept my nose clean for 8 years, and succesfull cat d and tag last time. Id like the think the.OMU would take this into consideration??? Just wondering on your opinion and others opinons. : )

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    1. Thanks for your question. Obviously, I'm not a lawyer (otherwise I'd have been struck off as an ex-con!), however, I have worked with lads inside who preparing for their HDC boards. There are certain statutory exclusions from 'tag'. These are set out in PSI 43/2012 on HDC.

      Obviously the key issue will be length of sentence, as four years or above is excluded from eligibility. However, I suspect that you'll be looking at a lot less than that if this is a first drugs-related offence. You do need to get your solicitor's advice on sentencing options, but let's assume it's not longer than 12 months. You now need to be serving a minimum sentence of 12 weeks to be considered for HDC, of which you have to spend at least 28 days inside.

      The second issue will be whether there were any HDC breaches or recalls last time round. Under the current PSI, a single failure renders a person ineligible for HDC. From what you wrote above, that doesn't seem to be a problem, so my best guess is that you should get Cat-D. What the current waiting list is for transfer from local nicks to the open estate I really don't know, but I gather there is a shortage of places for D-cats, some of whom never actually get a transfer, especially if they are doing a short stretch.

      Consideration for HDC is automatic if you are eligible and meet all the criteria set out in PSI 43/2012. The HDC clerk should notify you of your eligibility when you receive your sentence dates in writing. If not, then chase it up.

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    2. Thanks alex, could you do a blog topic on "the best ways to structure your day in a b cat, the best way to fill 23 hours?"

      Peoples input on this I think would be really helpful! I used to sleep most afyernoons from 12-4 with some presecription meds from my pad mate. Snorting the capsules would give an instant warming feel and put you to sleep for a few hours..so that was our regular afternoon thing. Perhaps making a chess set from paper and sketches? Been a while for me, so im.out of practice keepibg myself busy in lockup. : )

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    3. Thanks for the suggestion. Having experienced life in two Cat-Bs (including one of the worst) I think I'd be able to give a personal view!

      As I recall, it was a tedious combination of sleeping, writing letters home, reading (assuming I had anything worth reading) or watching repeats on daytime TV... Not much different to Basic regime really.

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  17. Ha...am i right thinking i can take 10 books in with me now???

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    1. Thanks for your question. Although the blanket ban on posting in books to prisoners has been ruled unlawful by the High Court, NOMS has not yet clarified what the new rules will be. Previously, some nicks insisted that only new books ordered via Amazon.co.uk or other approved suppliers and delivered directly to the prison would be accepted on security grounds. This means that they may revert to this system across the whole estate, but to be honest it isn't clear yet.

      The limit of 12 books in possession imposed by NOMS in September 2013 has now also been scrapped, although there remains a 'volumetric' control on the space they can take up. My advice would be to take as many as you can comfortably carry in your bang-up bag and see what happens. You may be lucky and get them issued immediately, or they might be put in stored prop until you either submit a general application or transfer to another jail. The trouble with reception screws is you can never really tell how they are going to be. Some are decent blokes, others can be real dogs... it's just the luck of the draw!

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    2. Mmmm as usual, they like total control dont they? Grrrr!!! A few home comforts really help, and they know that! Which is why they take em away just to show you whos boss!!! Arsholes! I means books ffs!! Come on!!

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    3. I'm always reminded of a witty comment by one con at my first nick, a Cat-B local. Referring to screws in general he quipped: "They've got what it takes to take what you've got!" In some cases that is just so true.

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    4. Sense of humour deffo needed....ill be glad if the emap system tho, but 25p an email is a bit steap!

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    5. If you can keep a sense of humour, despite all the weird idiocies of the prison system, then you'll get through your sentence without too much grief. Just find a few decent lads to spend time with and things will be OK.

      I'm also reminded of a comment made by the American author Bill Bryson (whom I've met several times). He once said: "If you can’t be happy, at least don’t whinge. It’s awful and doesn’t become you. Indeed, it doesn’t get you anywhere. No-one will ever thank you or admire you more deeply or say ‘Let’s invite Simon and Emma to the party, they’re fantastic whingers.’ So stop moaning, it’s a waste of oxygen!" How right he is. No-one likes a bloke who whinges inside, even fellow cons, so a sense of humour is a very valuable asset!

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  18. Hi Alex!

    I seriously love this blog post and would really like to include it in Doll Hospital, an art and literature journal on mental health I founded if that's alright with you? Everyone I know in prison has found mental health to be a real issue and it's definitely a subject I hope to amplify.

    If that's something you'd be interested in, or you'd just to find out more you can drop me an email at bethanyroselamont@yahoo.co.uk

    Thanks so much! :)

    Beth

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